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Zen Psychology
Home
About
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Teletherapy
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Young Adults
Concerns Treated
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Anxiety
Stress
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Trauma
Eating Disorders
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How to Avoid Avoidance
Jaime Borger 2021-02-21 Jaime Borger 2021-02-21

How to Avoid Avoidance

How avoiding your discomfort is making it worse

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It’s okay to let it in, let it go + let it be. 
Not fixing anything or trying to figure anything out. Not clinging to what happened a moment ago or anticipating what might happen next. Letting go of the need to control or change what happens +
Sometimes, we lose our way and forget who we are and what matters. When we get clear on what truly matters + make choices that move us towards our deeper values, we live life our way. 

#choices #choice #healthychoices #healthychoice #choose #values
When we are triggered, our primitive brain takes over and hijacks our ability to make choices. In other words, we become REACTIVE instead of RESPONSIVE. This is how our brain is designed-to survive, which means that our fear/threat response is infini
Harsh truth. 
Reality doesn’t care about your preferences, your dislikes, your thoughts or your beliefs about how things ‘should’ be. It just is. Accepting this leads to freedom + choice. 
Just this. 

#reality #real #true #truth #t
When we say other people or aversive circumstances are responsible for our problems, we are also saying that other people and different circumstances are the solution. While, at first blush it seems like an easy way out, in the longterm blaming just
It’s natural to want more of what feels good and less of what feels bad. The problem with the pursuit of pleasure is that pleasure inevitably ends + leaves us feeling dissatisfied. The problem with avoiding pain, is that it’s impossible t
We can’t think or should our way out of our feelings. While there are many effective ways to deal with anger, trying to tell ourselves not to feel angry is not one of them. 
A critical consideration when working with anger, is not that it occur
The problem isn’t that life is inherently stressful, it’s our attempt to avoid this truth and live in a fantasy world where things always go our way and turn out as planned. 
In the famous words of Chogyam Trungpa, “The bad news is
For many of us, life is an abstract concept that we will begin living, when things are exactly as we want them to be. In reality, life is not an abstraction + it doesn’t start when you’re ready for it. It’s happening now, unfolding
We can’t become fit by thinking about going to gym, and similarly, thinking we should be happy will not actually make us happy.
Happiness can be developed through certain practices, including awareness-of the present moment, insight into our in
When we become response-able we have choice about how we want to act. 
Assuming others are responsible for our misery or pain also assumes that they are responsible for taking it away. 
This gives other people power over our happiness, when it is in
We are complex beings and it’s human to experience a wide range of emotions. According to distinguished psychologist and emotion-focused therapy co-founder Les Greenberg, “Emotions are gut reactions that use our bodies to tell us how we a

 

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